


Picture Perfect

by DIW



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Cheating, Contests, Gen, Humor, Photography, and has too many children, sneaky bats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DIW/pseuds/DIW
Summary: The Bat kids get into a contest to see who can get the best picture of Bruce.Cheating ensues
Comments: 6
Kudos: 172





	Picture Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I love how friendly this community is!  
> And with how Blah everything is right now, I thought I would just share this silly little story
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It’s hard to say _exactly_ how the game came about Dick mused. It probably started when Damien was looking at a picture of the original dynamic duo. He somehow took it as an insult to his ninja skills that Drake - or Tiny Timmy Drake, as Dick always privately thought of him in his pre-robin days- had successfully followed Batman close enough to take these pictures without being caught.

After that the youngest Wayne had a mission. 

Dick could have told him that it helped that the other had used a professional camera with a scope, and not a cell phone as the newest robin was using, but where was the fun in that?  
But somehow, this is the part Dick is a little fuzzy on, all the kids in the house got in on it. They were all sneaking around, cameras at the ready, trying to secretly snap the best photo of Bruce.  
Not batman - Damian had declared that any imbecile could snap a photo while Batman was busy fighting off drug dealers and thugs- it had to be Bruce.

Dick made his way down the hallway and stopped at the open doorway to the study.

His guardian sat, one hand holding a few sheets of paper the other massaging his temple. The hunch of his shoulders, the frown on his face- this was _all_ Bruce in a look that could only be brought about by WE paperwork.

Dick raised his phone and snapped the shot.

"And what was that for?" Bruce asked without raising his head. Dick didn’t doubt that the older man knew he was there since he stopped at the door.

"Just wanted to capture the moment" he grinned.

Bruce hummed. "And what’s so special about this moment?"

"Aw, every moment with you is a special moment!" He said in his most saccharine voice, clasping his hands up beside his head and rolling onto the balls of his feet.

Bruce’s eyes snapped up at him then, giving him a flat- though somehow fond- look. "Don’t you have a chandelier you should be swinging on?"

"Okay, but I’m telling Alfred it was your suggestion!" Dick replied taking off down the hallway with a mad cackle.  
  
**  
  
Tim knew if he waited long enough an opportunity for a great shot would present itself, and when he saw Bruce walking across the wet grass early this morning he knew the time had come.

He may not have initially planned to take part, but Damian…well Damian bugged him. And it was a chance to bring out his camera that no longer saw much use.  
  
He found a dark corner and tucked himself into it, folded up small. He lifted his camera and suddenly he was 10 years old again. He was young and free, he didn’t have the weight of a company on his shoulders, wasn’t tracking down villains, but he did have a shiny secret that only a handful of others know, held tight to his chest.

Tim counted down, knowing the entrance was imminent.

Bruce walked in tracking mud through the clean foyer and Alfred, magical Alfred cut him off and gave him _A Look_. Bruce hunched up looking chastised and Tim took the picture.   
  
He waited long after the other two had left to leave his hiding space. He stretched and looked back at the picture he took and grinned.  
  
He might not win this game of theirs, but he was sure Dick would at least get a kick out of it.   
  
**  
  
Cass stretched as she walked down the hallway. Grinned when her back released a satisfying crack.  
  
Today was going to be a good day. No major villain sightings lately. No one in her family was currently hurt. She spent the morning dancing in the ballroom. And Steph would come over soon and paint her nails. Not a bad day at all.  
  
She smiled at Bruce when she saw him approaching from down the hall.  
  
"Finished practicing?" He asked, returning her smile as he continued towards her.  
  
She shrugged. One was never really _done_ practicing.  
  
She could tell from the tilt of his head that he understood that.  
  
He lowered his voice when he was closer. "Cass, do you have any idea why Damien has been shadowing me lately?”

She grinned and waved him in closer. The challenge had been started a while ago, and Cass had been enjoying watching everyone try to find their pictures. She knew Bruce would bring a chance for a good shot of her own. And teasing her youngest brother as she got it… too funny to pass up.

Bruce moved in and she waved him even closer, like a secret to share. When he bent forward she latched onto his arm and swung around so they were both facing forward and in the same moment pulled the phone Stephanie had convinced her to buy and clicked to take the picture before Bruce could do more than look at the phone in bafflement.

Before he got a chance to ask she kissed his cheek and pulled away knowing that – “Cane! That’s cheating!” She would have to take off quickly. She grinned as she raced down the hallway, Damian chasing after her.

**

Bruce lay on his back across the couch in one of the rarely used sitting rooms in the manors ground floor. He had one arm thrown over his eyes and was debating on the merits of getting up and actually doing some work… but it was Sunday afternoon and it had been an exhausting week.

His kids were surprisingly all here today. Dick and Damian and Cass and Tim an even Steph were somewhere upstairs. And they were being quiet.

He knew he should really get up and check on them. Whatever they were doing- and they were clearly doing it together, every so often he would hear two to five sets of feet scurrying from one room to another, up and down the stairs, across the hallways- it couldn’t be good.

Until he smelled smoke or heard screaming though he was not getting up.

He was surprised when he was pulled from a light doze by someone running into his ~~nap~~ \- the sitting room and skidding to a stop across from the couch.

He lifted his arm just enough to peer at Stephanie standing across from him, paused in the middle of typing on her cell phone, looking vaguely guilty.

“Thought Tim was in here.” She whispered loudly.

Bruce shook his head and pointed upwards without moving his arm. “In Cass’s room.” He whispered back, covering his eyes again.

She stood there for another moment tapping at her phone before moving passed him towards the door.

He managed not to jump when he felt a light weight draped over his body. “Nap time for batman.” She whispered before running from the room and back up the stairs.

Bruce snorted a small laugh at that and tried so very hard to not worry about what the kids were up to.

**

Jason wandered over to Dick who was just leaning on one of the bikes and watching the scene unfold. Damian was having some sort of tantrum and screaming at Tim as the other walked further into the cave.

They had just completed an all hands on deck evening, the only reason the Red Hood was back at the cave, along with all current and former Robins, Black Bat and Bruce.

“What’s up his butt?” He asked moving in to lean against the bike as well.

“You heard him- Tim’s a dirty lying cheater.” Nightwing grinned at him before turning to back to the confrontation.

“What, are they dating now?” He was pretty proud of the way he made Nightwing gag at the thought.

Nightwing smacked at him lightly. “Dames is just a little nervous about our competition. We are seeing who can get the best picture of Bruce, and Tim won’t tell him if he already has one or not.”

“Does he?”

“Obviously.”

Jason snorted. “So what’s the prize? And who’s the ref?”

Dick made a weird face, scrunching his lips up and furrowing his brows while he thought. “Well… The prize is to lord it over everyone else.” Jason nods. It’s not a real prize, but it’s definitely going to happen no matter what. “And, we’ll judge by committee?”

Jason smirked and looked pointedly over to where Tim had turned and started lashing back at the younger Robin. Steph hopped up to sit next to Cass on the table behind them, slurping loudly at the straw to her water bottle as the girls enjoyed the fight.

“Good luck with that. Might want to consider an impartial judge.”

“You volunteering?” Dick smiled over at his favourite outlaw.

“Sure, why not. And just for the record- I am absolutely open to bribes.”

“Maybe someone else.” Dick huffed good naturedly then frowning at the other as he was elbowed in the ribs.

The Hood nodded his chin over to where Alfred had appeared at the top of the stairs with a tray in hand. “Yeah. Maybe someone else.”

Dick tilted his head weighing the idea, before springing up and quickly moving over to get between Damian and Tim when the younger one pulled out a weapon.

Dick ended up wrapping his arms around Damian’s chest and holding him off the ground while the boy thrashed continuing trying to attack Red Robin, while Cass had slid off the table, placing her hands lightly on Tim’s shoulders to remind him to keep him from moving into striking range in his anger. Steph stayed where she was seated, pumping a first in the air and cheering them to let ‘The kids duke it out’.

“Well kids, as fun as it’s been….” All eyes turned to Jason. He had moved in closer to the group and taken off his helmet. His back was to them holding the helmet up and twisting it slowly side to side, catching the light on the newest dent- curtesy of an overzealous thug with a pipe wrench.

“But I think I’m going to head out. Find somewhere without preteen fistfights.”

“Oh good, your finally leaving Gotham.” Jason flipped the bird to Stephanie who only grinned back.

He grabbed a cookie from the tray Alfred was carrying, the butler having just made it to the base of the stairs. He shoved the whole thing in his mouth before popping his helmet back on and making his way to his bike. Alfred shook his head with a quiet ‘Who raised this child?’, heading over to offer the snacks to the rest of the crew.

Bruce glided past the group and walked Jason back to his bike, having a quiet word with him while Dick encouraged the others to shower and get changed, and told them that he had a proposal for their contest.

**

“Is this alright?” Bruce asked fond fatherly patients colouring his voice.

“Tilt your head Father.” Damian suggested after a moments careful consideration.

“Like this?” He was clearly amused by the situation. Sitting in an armchair in the library, dark shelves framing him, as Damian posed him to look imposing and larger than life. The way he was meant to look.

Bruce glanced away towards the door giving a small smile and raising one eyebrow.

“Father, please remain still. And please take this seriously.” Damian chided from where he had been adjusting the lights. Since they had agreed on having Pennyworth judge their photographs he was now on a deadline.

“Of course Damian.” He replied, turning back to face the camera his blood son had set up. Damian glanced over to the entrance but there was nothing there to be a distraction.

The camera clicked and the flash blinded. “Hm. Maybe once without the flash.” The young heir to the Demon Head stared thoughtfully at the picture he had taken, before working on figuring out how to disable the flash. He might be skilled at many things, but he hadn’t spent much time with a camera before. _He_ wasn’t some kind of stalker.

This one happened to be one of Drakes. He had managed to convince the other that it was unfair to leave him unequipped for the contest. Brown had said that the rest of them were using their cellular phones to capture their pictures, but it wasn’t Damian’s fault if they chose to handicap themselves. He would use the best equipment he could get his hands on.

Of course he could have purchased a new state of the art camera, but this way he was able to trick Drake into explaining the basics to him. He could study and find all of the information he would need, but it bothered him that he was the last one to get a photograph of his own Father.

“Bruce prefers most things to be without the Flash.” Damian may have jumped at the sudden voice coming from directly behind him but he definitely did not shriek.

“Grayson!”

“Hey lil’ D. Whatcha doing?” The way the older man sung the last two words got Damian’s hackles up.

“I am simply working on a new skill set.” He grumbled, shoulders around his ears and glaring at the floor.

“Uh-huh.”

Damian wared with himself for a minute then quickly raised his hands to the camera. “I just need one more-“

Dick wrapped his arms around him and lifted him up and away from the tripod. “That’s enough cheating for one day.”

“I wasn’t cheating!”

“Let’s go tell Tim he can have his camera back!”

“Father!” He called to the still seated man, but Bruce only waved at them as he was carried out of the room like a misbehaving child.

“Play nice with your brother.” He called after them. Damian wasn’t sure who he was speaking to, but the silent mocking laughter in his voice was clear.

**

Alfred was quite pleased with the day. The sun was out, none of his charges were injured, and it had been a while since they started any new feuds between themselves. And today they had presented him with a wonderful gift.

Richard, Timothy, Damian, Stephanie and Cassandra had come into the kitchen just as he had been putting the afternoon tea on.

“Hey Alfred. We wanted you to have a look at these.” Richard had said as Cass placed the papers on the counter between their group and him.

He picked them up not sure what he should expect, but was surprised to find five very different pictures of Bruce Wayne.

Glancing up at the children he saw the soft smile on Richards face. “These are quite wonderful.” He told them sincerely glancing through them once more. When he looked up he saw Timothy’s head ducked and a faint pleased smile on his face.

Young Damian insisted he tell them which one was the best.

But he couldn’t pick one of these photos. He smiled down at them again, each one capturing something different; A strong intimating figure, A father happy to play along, A young man taking scolding, A business man, and An exhausted man enjoying a moment of peace.

Damian wouldn’t take that as an answer, but Richard started distracting him- some kind of new challenge- Timothy threw a casual insult as he led the boys out of the room. The girls caught on and chased them out of the kitchen, keeping up the chatter while Alfred slipped away to put the photographs into one of his albums.

He carefully put each one in its place before flipping a few pages back. No he couldn’t pick any of the pictures they had brought him this afternoon, each showing something completely different from the young man he raised. They were each a wonderful moment for him to treasure.

But none of them could ever win because of the one slipped in with their mail this morning.

In the picture Damian and Timothy were being held back from the row by Richard and Cass respectively, Stephanie cheering behind them, Jason was grinning right at the camera, and in the background, half hidden in shadows was Batman. Cowl down and an exasperated look on his face as he watched over his children. There was a fondness there too as he watched his children.

Alfred traced the edge of the page smiling down at it. This was his favourite version of Bruce without question.

He gave himself one more moment of sentimentality before closing the book and re-shelving it. Happy to know that moment was kept safe there until he needed to see it again.

**Author's Note:**

> I kept forgetting to add Tim into scenes and missed it in my first three read throughs. I felt awful! I Love you Tim!!
> 
> Please let me know if you find any mistakes, or if you have any constructive criticism! And, I know that Damian was ooc in this... It was just fun to write him like that haha 
> 
> And as a small bonus, here's a small extra scene with Barbra 
> 
> Barbra had been kicked out of the contest early. Not that she minded of course, she was a little too busy to try following Bruce around all day trying to get the best shot. She definitely had a few too many cases she was following to ever focus on a completion –one whose only prize was pride. Boring.  
> She had sent a few pictures to the group chat while she was being included at the start. Stills from security footage ("Stills are Not photographs" Damian had complained before trying to ban her. She just laughed and bowed out gracefully) over at Wayne Enterprises. One with Bruce rolling his eyes behind some ones back while Tim tried not to snicker she thought could have been in the running. Though the one of Bruce mid sneeze was her personal favourite.  
> But Dick kept sending her pictures of Damian grumpily trying to sneak his pictures of Bruce. And the girls were relaxed and having fun.  
> So she was happy to listen to them share their stories and encourage their quest. She was absolutely betting on Tim, but she wasn’t going to admit that. Just going to sit back and watch their ridiculousness with a bowl of popcorn at the ready.


End file.
